


Call in the Cavalry

by OhNoMyBreadsticks



Series: Bready's Melting Pot [2]
Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Humor, IKEA, IKEA Furniture, Innuendo, M/M, Meet-Cute, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:02:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24755980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhNoMyBreadsticks/pseuds/OhNoMyBreadsticks
Summary: Lambert and Eskel might be ateeny tinybit lost in this IKEA. They could use a helping hand, especially if that hand belongs to a handsome stranger.
Relationships: Cahir Mawr Dyffryn aep Ceallach/Eskel/Lambert, Eskel/Lambert (The Witcher)
Series: Bready's Melting Pot [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1784857
Comments: 8
Kudos: 26
Collections: Melting Pot Prompts





	Call in the Cavalry

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the melting pot prompt challenge my favorite little server is running. The prompt for this fic was “Wait, so...Where does it go in?” and I wanted to write something silly with a little innuendo twist to it~ 
> 
> I also want to create as much content as possible for this ship because I love it!!

If this was how they went out, Lambert considered, maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing. Starving to death in an IKEA would at least be like, not a boring death. He turned his head to look at Eskel, who was laying on the tester bed next to him, and had to smile. Despite the both of them having been in this damn store for like three hours, and now not being able to find the exit to the food court area, his partner was still as calm as ever. Instead of looking like he was about to smack Lambert about the head for leading them in yet another circle not five minutes earlier, he looked about ready to doze off for a nap.

Lambert wished he could take a nap. Sadly, his grumbling growling stomach wasn’t going to allow him that kind of a rest. It just wasn’t fair, they could get to a part of the store where they could  _ see _ the food court from across a sort of gap, where the floor fell away to show the entranceway. But they just couldn’t  _ get _ there, no matter how dutifully they followed the little arrows on the floor or consulted the map. They just kept ending up at the staircase down to the real retail area, where they’d need to pick up the flat packs of all their new furniture. 

Sure, they could probably ask an employee, but were they the kind of people to do that? Absolutely not, he and Eskel would rather die, honestly. And they probably were going to, he thought with a dramatic sigh, if he didn’t get a nice plate of meatballs into himself soon. 

“Is the bed that bad? I’ll make a note to never buy it.”

A voice pierced through Lambert’s little pity party, and he raised his head to see a man standing at the foot of the bed watching them with a curious little smile. He looked right at home in the decor of this fake bedroom, in his carefully tailored vest and dark slacks. Who got that dressed up to go to an IKEA? Not that Lambert was complaining about the view, but still. Eskel pushed himself up into a sitting position to throw the man one of his signature easy smiles, the ones that made Lambert fall in love with him all over again every time.

“It’s quite a nice bed, we’re just using it to despair on.” Eskel explained, “You’re looking at two grown men who can’t seem to find their way to a food court located on the same floor they’re on.” 

The man laughed, because of course he did, but Lambert found that instead of being annoyed at the mocking, he ended up chuckling along instead. “It’s a little ridiculous, we’re aware.” He admitted, “Directions have never been our strong suit, have they babe?” 

Eskel shook his head and took his hand to squeeze it. It was an oddly intimate setting, Lambert realized, with the two of them in their fake bedroom holding hands, while a total stranger smiled at them from the foot of the bed. Odd, but not uncomfortable. The third man just seemed to fit into their little tableau. 

“Well. I don’t think I can, in good conscience, leave you here.” The man said, “So if you aren’t against accepting help from a stranger, I think I can lead you to the promised land.”

“What’s your name?” Lambert asked, struggling off the bed and extending a hand towards the stranger. “Cahir.” He replied, taking the proffered hand and squeezing it in a firm, practiced handshake. 

“Well then. See, now you’re not a stranger at all.” Lambert said with a wink, and he could have sworn he saw Cahir’s cheeks flush even as Eskel groaned behind him.

* * *

Lambert was sweating, his breath coming in hard pants as he struggled to hold his position. The bedroom was full of little sounds of exertion, warm from the heat of their bodies.

“Wait, so...Where does it go in?” Eskel’s voice murmured, close and breathy in Lambert’s ear. He couldn’t stand it any more, finally breaking down and setting the cabinet door down with a thud.

“While I’m holding the big piece of plywood is not the time to ask, my love. That thing’s awkward to grip.” He grumbled, flexing his fingers and glaring in annoyance at the half-constructed cabinet that was supposed to be easy to put together. Easy his ass, they’d been at this for like forty-five minutes and they still couldn’t figure out how to attach the doors! It was enough to make a man despair, maybe this ‘build you own furniture’ lifestyle just wasn’t for them, and the IKEA marketing had tricked them all. 

“Sorry Lamb.” Eskel said, running a hand through his messy hair in frustration, “I guess I’ll have to re-read that part of the instructions.  _ Again _ .” 

Lambert couldn’t stand listening to Eskel sound so upset, so he leaned in for a gentle kiss to his cheek. “We’ll figure it out. And if we can’t, we can always call in the cavalry.” 

Cahir, who apparently had a knack for appearing when he was most needed, called out from the door of the bedroom, “I see, so now I’m going to have to do manual labor on top of being your guide?” He didn’t look very upset at all though, a rather fond smile across his face as he looked at the two sweaty but terribly charming men who had invited him over for dinner as a thanks for rescuing them in the store. If Lambert had to say so himself, it had been a stroke of genius on his and Eskel’s parts to make sure that they saw more of Cahir after what had been a wonderful afternoon.

“Don’t worry, we’ll figure out some way to repay you for the help” Lambert insisted with a wink. Eskel’s arm wrapped itself around Lambert’s waist and squeezed, and he was sure in that moment that the blush on Cahir’s cheeks was something they could get very used to. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this very silly little piece XD 
> 
> Any and all kudos or comments will be loved and cherished <3 I'm available on [tumblr](https://ohnomybreadsticks.tumblr.com/) if you ever feel like chatting or reading some of my lil drabbles, I’d love to see you there C:


End file.
